A Punny Story of Astronomical Proportions

Handsome Bollywood star, ‘Lok Thalaivan’ Sukkiran went to consult Dr.Karthik, a jolly proctologist (whose hobby was astronomy, “ a whole life spent peeping up gassy back holes and glossy black holes” as he put it), complaining of pain in his fundaments. His family doctor, Dr. Moola Sadhayam , a Moslem, had investigated and treated him but the pain had only gotten worse. This actor (with his fame shooting up like a flare) was an idol on the silver screen, but sadly rose and sank like a meteor, on the small screen; because he and the TV tycoon Masi had had a big tiff and he was getting blacklisted. “That man’s opposition has shrunk my Telescope ”, Dr.Karthik had cometted to his friends. “His wife Revathi was my first girl friend, and he hates me be quasar first love was for me. Ours was just a plutonic relationship”.

Swathi, the actor’s wife consoled him saying “TV work would have only made your life messier, Lok darling, Please concentrate on your film career with greater precession. You should learn to ignore that stupid albedo dwarf". (Masi’s nickname, because he was less than 5 feet tall and was an ‘albino’.) Revathi had a cold with stuffed nose and actually said ‘albedo’.

On examination, Dr.Karthik found a broken half of a rectal thermometer between the actor’s hemispheres. “Your GP had used a rectal thermometer and that got broken inside your bigausus. So you have some mercury in uranus and an apsis in the centaur. Is it Sirius?”. Asked Sukkiran. “Revathi and I are off on our honeymoon to Nova Scotia via Rome next week. Can we still go?”

“The whole thing is very nebulas” said the doctor. "If you saturn uranus and it hurts like termination block of your corona, you honeymoon with your Venus will be aurora’". said the smiling doctor,. said the smiling doctor, who had a weakness for punning. “But I have cleaned up the mess. For a week you must sublimate your ascension, stay Indore, store up stamina with Mars bars and don’t roam around until you get to Rome”, ended the part-time astronomer. (His famous joke was that Nicholas Copernicus was the first man to wear knickers made of copper and Nickel!)

“Thank God”, said the star. "I was worried I might end the evening discussing the topic of cancer and osmology with you. That would have hit me like a punch in my solar plexus”.

“Start off with a Big Bang and you will be fine“, said the proctonomer, laughing. “Please go out through the front door. I prefer my patients using the rear entrance, and on busy days even enter backwards to save time. How I hate it, when they consult me online, and are not facing me”.

___________________________________________________________________________________________

Now the real test, EGGHEADS - see if you can you spot over 40 terms from the glossary of Geo-Astronomy in this tale (and even after ignoring duplication). Punster’s license regards spellings fully availed.